1 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,020 I need 2 seats On your 4:15 To boston, please. 2 00:00:06,390 --> 00:00:09,590 Oh, of course, mr. Smith. It's so nice To see you again. 3 00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,530 The name's beekman, Not smith. 4 00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:15,400 Oh, no, it couldn't be. I never forget a face. You're john smith. 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:19,300 For the last 3 fridays You've been flying to boston With your lovely wife, jane. 6 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,170 Do you know his wife? 7 00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:24,570 I am his wife. 8 00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:26,580 Honey, she's Obviously confused. 9 00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:28,580 Why don't we try That airline over there? 10 00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,580 Like hell. 11 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:30,580 Let me guess. 12 00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:33,580 Jane is about 5'6", Blonde from a bottle 13 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:35,020 With a chest out to here? 14 00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:38,260 Uh, maybe here. 15 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:40,760 You said it was over. You said It was ancient history. 16 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,260 You had better Get yourself A good lawyer. 17 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,770 So, a one to boston, then? 18 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,310 [seagulls cawing] 19 00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,570 [siren blaring on t.V.] 20 00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:01,770 Hey, joe, you want The last potsticker? 21 00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:04,270 Are potstickers Those slimy, white, Puffy things? 22 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:06,110 (helen) Uh-huh. Yeah. 23 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,880 Isn't this wonderful? 24 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,250 This is the first friday night That we've been alone 25 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:12,250 Since we've Been going out. 26 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,250 How'd you get rid Of brian? Mmm, 27 00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:16,250 I told him it'd be A good idea 28 00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,750 If he went downtown And got some ice cream. 29 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:19,260 He pretty much Got the hint. 30 00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:20,260 Good work. 31 00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:23,030 [whistling] 32 00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:25,030 What are you Doing here? 33 00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,530 You told me to go Get some ice cream 34 00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,030 And I went and got Some ice cream. 35 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:30,800 I mean, you were hinting Hard enough, joe, jeez! 36 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,740 Oh, and I picked up This great, great film. 37 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:34,600 Uh--uh, brian-- 38 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,610 The video store Was a total madhouse. 39 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:39,110 I mean, ordinarily mature Civilized people 40 00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:41,610 Wrestling on the floor Over a copy of the goonies. 41 00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:43,080 Brian, we were Watching this film. Brian, hey... 42 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,820 Yeah, no, no, no. This is even better. This is even better. 43 00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:47,820 It's samurai without a name. 44 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:51,320 Yeah, it's considered A classic Of the japanese cinema. 45 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,820 A film of understated Beauty and power. 46 00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:56,330 Since when Do you know so much About japanese movies? 47 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:58,790 I don't, I read it off the box. 48 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,230 Brian, we were-- Of course, the true way To enjoy this 49 00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,730 Is with the sound off. 50 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:05,240 [laughing] 51 00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:08,100 How do you like My new robe? I got it on sale. 52 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,610 It makes you look Like a girl. 53 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:12,070 How dare you make fun Of my clothes? Prepare to die. 54 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,040 Ow! 55 00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,150 (helen) Hey-- Put that saber down! 56 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,650 Brian, why don't you, um, Go get us some bowls For that ice cream? 57 00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:18,650 Oh, good idea. Ok, great. Yeah. 58 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:20,080 And while I'm in there, 59 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,080 I'll look For some cups, too. 60 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,590 They make great Horse hoof sounds. 61 00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:23,920 [helen laughing] 62 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,420 You have a choice. 63 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:26,920 You either Get your brother Out of here 64 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,430 Or I will kill him And bury him 65 00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:29,890 In a shallow grave Out back. 66 00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:33,060 I think I saw a shovel Out in the garage. 67 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:36,570 Someone has to tell him That we're not The 3 musketeers anymore. 68 00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,530 You and I are dating, now. 69 00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:38,970 Ok, all right. Ok, ok. 70 00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:40,470 When he comes back, In here we'll, Uh, tell him-- 71 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,210 Oh, "We'll"? No, there's no "We'll" here. 72 00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,540 You're gonna tell him. He's your brother. 73 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:46,310 Am I gonna be punished For that my whole life? 74 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,910 All right, ok, ok, I'll tell him. 75 00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,410 Did I miss Any decapitations? 76 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:51,920 No. Listen, brian-- Ah, here we are, Here's my favorite part. 77 00:03:51,910 --> 00:03:52,920 Here's my favorite part. 78 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,380 I'm tired Of making war. Let's sing! 79 00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,790 Good idea. 80 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:59,620 I brought my sheet music. It's in the key of c. On my downbeat. 81 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,430 Me and you And a dog named boo Livin' on the-- 82 00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:04,890 Brian, helen and I Want to be alone. 83 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:06,300 What samurai says that? 84 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,930 No, it's not that We don't ever want To hang out with you. 85 00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,430 It's just that, uh, 86 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:12,440 We need some time To ourselves. You understand that. 87 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,240 Uh, yeah, yeah, You don't want me around. 88 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,740 Oh, come on, brian, If--if the tables Were turned 89 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,240 Would you want me Hanging around? 90 00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:22,750 Of course not. But I'm a lot more fun Than you are. 91 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:26,250 Look, it's just that We're in a relationship now. 92 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,750 [whispering] This isn't my idea. It's helen's. 93 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,750 And, uh, 94 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,220 We need some time To ourselves. 95 00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:34,220 [whispering] I like having you around. 96 00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:36,230 But, I'm sorry, but That's just the way it is. 97 00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:38,590 [whispering] Helen is in A really bad mood today. 98 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,930 Don't give me that. 99 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:42,430 I bet you If I asked helen 100 00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:44,430 She'd say She wanted me to stay. 101 00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:46,940 (helen) No, she wouldn't. 102 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,240 Look, brian, You're great With women. 103 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,010 Why don't you just go out And find somebody nice? 104 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,440 Yeah, yeah. 105 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,940 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, you're right. 106 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,950 This--this may be just The kick in the pants I need 107 00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:57,780 To get my life Back on track. 108 00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,920 Or it could mean years Of intensive therapy. 109 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,920 Yeah. 110 00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,190 [door closing] He probably hates me now, Doesn't he? 111 00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,690 No, not at all. I pretty much Kept you out of it. 112 00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:18,400 (fay) Announcing the departure Of flight 27 to provincetown. 113 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,900 We at sandpiper air Request you please refrain 114 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,410 From taking flash pictures During takeoff or landing 115 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:26,910 As this temporarily Blinds our pilot. 116 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,410 Thank you. 117 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,420 I'm sorry, kenny. Brian still hasn't shown up. 118 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,420 You're gonna have to Take another flight. Oh, no sweat, sir. 119 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:39,420 I'll, uh, just get My guidance counselor To write me a pass. 120 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,720 Yeah, I can just tell him I'm going on a field trip. 121 00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,690 Think he'll buy that? Oh, yeah, yeah. 122 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:45,700 He'll sign Just about anything I put in front of him. 123 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,530 By the end of the day, He's pretty much loaded. 124 00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:48,800 Good. 125 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,530 Still no sign of brian? 126 00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:52,540 No. I'm getting Worried about him. 127 00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,040 He didn't even Come home last night. 128 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,540 We must have Really hurt His feelings. 129 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,110 Oh, I'm sure He'll be ok. 130 00:05:57,110 --> 00:06:00,610 You know, this reminds me Of a funny story About my uncle emmett. 131 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,850 Seems one day he disappeared. 132 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:04,350 No one could find him. 133 00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,550 Then somebody Had the good sense To look into his well. 134 00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,050 Sure enough, there he was. 135 00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:10,350 [laughing] 136 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,020 He was ok? 137 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,860 Nope. Deader than a doornail. 138 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,360 He was wedged in there Pretty good, too. 139 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,400 Took a tow truck wench To yank him out. 140 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,900 Came out a foot taller Than he went in. 141 00:06:24,330 --> 00:06:25,840 Lowell, that's not A funny story. 142 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,340 That is a tragic, Horrible story. 143 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,040 By god, you're right. 144 00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,880 I'm gonna Call the police. 145 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,850 Mon frere! 146 00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:37,780 Brian, where the hell Have you been? 147 00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,780 I've been worried sick About you. 148 00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,780 Ah, been in, uh, paris. 149 00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,290 Yeah, right. 150 00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:45,290 No, really. 'cause after you guys Booted me out last night 151 00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:47,790 I went down To the tin whistle, Met this woman. 152 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,790 She has led An incredible life, 153 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,800 Climbed the north face Of the eiger, ok. 154 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,300 Kayaked down the ganges. 155 00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:56,770 She even competed In the iditarod Dogsled race. 156 00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:59,170 She would've won If that dog Hadn't frozen. 157 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,500 I don't believe you. 158 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,010 Oh, ok, she definitely Would've been in the top 3. 159 00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:04,870 Anyway, 160 00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:07,180 We got to talking, right. Next thing I know 161 00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:10,180 I'm winging my way to paris On the family jet 162 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,050 To have lunch at la mazere. 163 00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,550 Family jet? 164 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:15,480 She must be well-off. 165 00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:17,890 You know that expression "Stinking rich"? 166 00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:21,190 Well, "P" And might I say "U". 167 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,190 You're making this up. He's making this up. 168 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,490 [people chattering] 169 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,400 Hello, gorgeous. 170 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,900 Come here, you. 171 00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:30,130 [moaning] 172 00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:34,640 Did you used to play The trumpet? Never mind. 173 00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,410 Gwen holmes, This is my brother, joe 174 00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:39,910 And helen chapel, His little crouton. 175 00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:43,410 Oh, it is really great To meet you. 176 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,710 I guess it is. 177 00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:45,720 Oh, brian's told me So much about you. 178 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,620 I feel close To you both already. 179 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,490 And hold on To your berets. 180 00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:52,420 Here's the really big news. Gwen and I have decided 181 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,620 To get married. 182 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,860 You're getting married? No, you're kidding. Brian. 183 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,630 Oh, listen, Brian. 184 00:07:58,630 --> 00:08:01,130 I know it's impetuous But I cannot help myself. 185 00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,500 I've never been in love Like this before. 186 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,000 Brian and I believe In following our impulses 187 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,840 And my impulse says Marry this big galoot. 188 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:09,610 [laughing] 189 00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,570 You know, it's like My father always says, 190 00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,080 "You gotta take A big bite out of life 191 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,080 And just let the juices Drip down your chin." 192 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:19,150 Is it any wonder I love her? 193 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,150 [moaning] 194 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,650 Oh, hold it. Hold it. 195 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:25,660 Hold it, hold it, Hold it, hold it. 196 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:27,160 I just got Another gut feeling. 197 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,990 Oh, listen up, guys. Her gut knows What it's talking about. 198 00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,760 We get married On your plane. Uh-huh. 199 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,760 Then, after the "I do's," 200 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,260 We skydive into Our life together. 201 00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,400 Oh, I love that. I--I love that. 202 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,400 Now, let--let's-- Let's make all Our plans that way. 203 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,400 No plans. 204 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,910 Well, that is a plan. Forget what I just said. 205 00:08:43,410 --> 00:08:45,410 Brian, can we talk To you in my office For a second? 206 00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:46,680 Sure, sure, sure. 207 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,180 Whoa, careful brian, 208 00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,180 This is the part Where they tell you You're crazy 209 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,680 And try And talk you Out of it. 210 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,510 (joe) Oh, no, we wouldn't do that. 211 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,020 Oh, of course not. They're just gonna Criticize your looks 212 00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:56,520 And dissect Your personality. 213 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,520 [both laughing] 214 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,020 We won't be long. 215 00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:04,530 Brian, if this is Because we kicked You out last night 216 00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,000 You're overreacting. No, no. 217 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,930 Brian, you can't Go through with this. You don't even know her. 218 00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,830 Helen, helen, 219 00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:12,340 Words cannot describe How I feel. 220 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,500 I-it's-- I feel-- 221 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,470 I feel whole with gwen. 222 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:18,980 Like there was This missing part of me That I never realized. 223 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:20,480 We fit, you know? 224 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,480 I guess words Can describe it. 225 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,110 [knocking at door] 226 00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:25,620 Uh, since this Does concern me, 227 00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:27,620 Seems like I ought To be involved In the discussion. 228 00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:30,620 Come on in, Mon petit chou. 229 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,620 Is it safe to assume That you're still at the, 230 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,420 "You hardly know her, Why not take your time" part? 231 00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,090 Mmm. Look, look, gwen, 232 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:38,930 I'm sure you're really A very nice person. It's just that-- 233 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,360 That we just met And getting married Is a big step. 234 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,300 Why not wait, See if you're Compatible first? 235 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,470 After all the foundation For a lasting relationship, It takes time to build. 236 00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:47,970 Exactly. Ah, bull. 237 00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,370 [brian exclaims] 238 00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,370 She nails him With a haymaker. 239 00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:53,440 That's gotta hurt. 240 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,950 Gwen, it takes time To be comfortable In a relationship. 241 00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:59,950 Comfortable? You want comfortable, You get a barcalounger. 242 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,950 Take--take Helen and me, For example. 243 00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:02,950 We got a great Relationship. Yeah. 244 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,950 But it's taken Some time to develop. 245 00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:06,260 Yeah, it doesn't Happen overnight. 246 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:07,490 Well, how long Have you two Known one another? 247 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:08,660 20 years. 248 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,890 Twen-- 249 00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:11,730 Y-you've known One another For 20 years 250 00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,800 And you still Haven't made A commitment? 251 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,930 I'm sorry, But what the hell Are you waiting for? 252 00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,770 Well, it's a little more Complicated than that. 253 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,770 Yeah, a lot More complicated. 254 00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,670 Well, a little More complicated. 255 00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:25,070 It's only complicated If it's wrong. 256 00:10:25,070 --> 00:10:26,580 All right, look, Let's get down To the bottom of this. 257 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,410 What is it that You're not sure about? 258 00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:29,710 Well, I--I guess It's that-- 259 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,710 W-wait--wait a-- Wait a minute. 260 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,080 Someplace Along the line, here, 261 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,580 We seem to have gotten off The subject at hand. 262 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:34,580 Which is You and brian. Right. 263 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,420 Do you love helen? 264 00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:39,350 Well, love is a-- Well, the thing is when You have deep feelings... 265 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,760 Helen, do you love joe? 266 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,760 Now, now, what You're asking is... 267 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,790 See, I've known joe For a long time, And joe and I realize... 268 00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:47,230 Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 269 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,730 I didn't realize that, uh, 270 00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,300 You both were so unsure Of your feelings For one another. 271 00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:53,500 Unsure of our feelings For one another? Wh-- 272 00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:57,770 I love joe. 273 00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,280 And I love helen. 274 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,280 Yeah. 275 00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,010 Really? Or are you just saying That 'cause I said that? No, no, really. 276 00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:06,550 But you never Want to get married. 277 00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:08,050 We didn't say that. No. 278 00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:10,050 We didn't say-- You're putting words In our mouth 279 00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,550 And you're getting off The subject. 280 00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:13,490 Oh, so you do want To get married? Marriage is... 281 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,990 That-- the--the tradition Of marriage... 282 00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,990 Helen? I firmly believe that... 283 00:11:17,990 --> 00:11:19,800 [both stammering] 284 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:21,360 Here we go again. 285 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,170 All right, damn it. This is not about us. Oh, sure it is. 286 00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:25,930 See, you don't want Brian to get married 287 00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,700 Because it casts doubt On your own relationship. 288 00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,710 Joe, is there something Wrong with helen 289 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,070 That keeps you From proposing? 290 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:33,240 Of course not. 291 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,740 What's wrong with me? 292 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,110 Helen, there's nothing Wrong with you. 293 00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:38,780 Then, why are you both So afraid to make A commitment? 294 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:40,050 I'm not afraid. Neither am I. 295 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,020 All right then do it. 296 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:44,520 Be spontaneous, Put the fire back In your relationship. 297 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,520 Joe, you've known her For 20 years. You love her. 298 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,520 There is nothing Keeping you From proposing. 299 00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:51,260 Do you want To marry her, joe? Do you? Do you? 300 00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:52,760 Yes! Yes! Yes! Ok, all right? 301 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,830 All right! And helen, do you Want to marry joe? 302 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:57,430 Now, don't let him down. Just, match his fire With your own. 303 00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,940 Yes, I want to marry him. 304 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,100 That's great! 305 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,710 Then we make it A double ceremony On sunday. 306 00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:04,570 Sunday, hah! 307 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:05,570 Saturday! 308 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:06,580 [brian exclaiming] 309 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,580 He's a maniac! 310 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,980 [brian grunting] 311 00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,580 Hey, what's that On your chin, brother? 312 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,250 It's the juices of life, Big guy. 313 00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:29,770 Hey. 314 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:32,270 Getting married saturday. 315 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,140 I know. 316 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,640 What's today? 317 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,640 Friday. 318 00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:44,150 Afternoon. 319 00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,680 How do you feel about it? 320 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:51,050 [sighing] Well, 321 00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:53,060 You know, I--I guess... 322 00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,060 I guess it's kind of-- You know-- 323 00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:55,990 You don't want To get married either? No! 324 00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:58,490 Oh, thank god! Thank god! Thank god! 325 00:12:58,490 --> 00:12:59,760 [laughing] 326 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,200 You don't have to be So relieved, joe. Oh, no, helen. 327 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,070 It's just that, uh, I think that we should go At our own speed. 328 00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:06,400 Take it nice and slow. Right. 329 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,200 I can't believe We let that woman Talk us into this. 330 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:12,010 Yeah, we're not Gonna get bullied into Getting married by anyone. 331 00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:14,010 Uh, but I think We should tell Brian and gwen. 332 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,010 You tell gwen, I'll tell brian. 333 00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:18,510 No, I'll tell brian, You tell gwen. 334 00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,080 I don't want to. 335 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080 I'm afraid of her. 336 00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:24,720 So am I. 337 00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,520 All right, then we'll Tell her together. 338 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,760 Uh, brian? Yeah? 339 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,760 Have you and gwen Decided where you're going On your honeymoon? 340 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,270 Oh, well, uh, Either a 24-day Survival trek 341 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:39,770 Across the kalahari, 342 00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:40,770 Or 343 00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:43,240 Disney world. 344 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,170 My, first husband George and I had An interesting honeymoon. 345 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,180 We went to paris And to athens. 346 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,050 That's great, fay. That's nice. 347 00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:53,450 Well, not exactly. We went to paris, illinois And athens, ohio. 348 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,950 That was george's idea Of a joke. 349 00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,860 I knew at that moment I should have married His brother. 350 00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,860 Well, kid, good luck. [chuckles] 351 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,860 These are your last Few minutes of freedom. 352 00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,370 Thanks a lot, roy, Thanks a lot. 353 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,370 And--and I'm sorry We couldn't invite you To the wedding. 354 00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:12,770 But we ran out of seats On the plane-- 355 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:14,770 I'll just stand out On the runway 356 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,270 And see If your chutes open. 357 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,740 (joe) Hey, brian. 358 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:23,010 We got a big problem. The minister just called, He's come down with the flu. 359 00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:26,010 No, now where am I Gonna find a minister At the last minute? 360 00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:29,020 [clearing throat] 361 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:32,820 Well, uh, I happen to be A minister in the church Of universal harmony. 362 00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:35,890 You're kidding. No, no. 363 00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:38,390 I sent in the $25, They sent me A certificate. 364 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,900 It's a tax dodge. 365 00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:43,370 Now, now, roy, really, You--you can marry us? 366 00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:46,030 Oh, sure, For a small donation. 367 00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,000 My church Needs a new waterbed. 368 00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:51,370 Am I late for the wedding? 369 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,640 Lowell, baby, You are right on time! 370 00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:55,910 Good, 'cause I brought the rice. 371 00:14:56,410 --> 00:14:59,420 Uh, lowell, The rice isn't Supposed to be cooked. 372 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,220 How do you Get it to stick? 373 00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:06,690 Here they come. 374 00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,090 Here comes the bride 375 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,930 All dressed in-- 376 00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:12,260 [microphone emitting feedback] 377 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:13,200 Thanks, bro. 378 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,730 No problem. 379 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,170 I really wish you The best, gwen. 380 00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:17,530 Thanks. 381 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:19,940 You know, I--I--I've always Dreamed of my wedding day. 382 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:21,940 Never did it involve Walking down the aisle 383 00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:23,740 With a parachute Strapped to my back. 384 00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:25,240 Well, helen, You've had a parachute 385 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,180 Strapped to your back Your whole life. Now, shut up. 386 00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,380 What? I'm sorry. 387 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,380 Um, some people cry At weddings. I get bitchy. 388 00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:43,060 Ok, we're over The drop area now. 389 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:44,360 Yeah. Sorry. 390 00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:45,590 What are these for? 391 00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:48,660 Uh, gwen decided last night That we'd incorporate 392 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,900 Some of the rituals From the coalachocti Marriage ceremony. 393 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,400 (gwen) They're a stone age tribe I lived with 394 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,700 In the rain forests Of brazil. 395 00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:57,440 They believe That we all have An animal spirit guide 396 00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:59,070 That leads us Through life. 397 00:15:59,070 --> 00:16:01,080 H-hoy! And I thought My church was a crock. 398 00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:04,110 Where are your masks? 399 00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:07,680 Oh, the bride and the groom Don't wear any. Just the wedding party. 400 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,120 I don't want to be the frog. I want to be the tiger. 401 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,360 Joe, you can't just change Your animal spirit guide. 402 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,860 This is a fundamental part Of us, that goes back To the day we were born. 403 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:16,860 Right, gwen? 404 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,160 Nah, you can change, If you want. 405 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:22,300 Don't I get a mask? 406 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,300 Sure, lowell. 407 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,300 Here, this is the toucan. 408 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,470 It's the wisest creature In the jungle. 409 00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:29,470 Ha, did you hear that? 410 00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:31,470 I'm the wisest. 411 00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,980 You have it on Upside down, dear. 412 00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,650 Ok, roy, Any time you're ready. 413 00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,180 (roy) Uh-huh. We, uh, 414 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,190 [clearing throat] We--we are gathered here 415 00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:46,390 To witness The joining together Of 2 souls, 416 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,720 Brian michael hackett 417 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,730 And gwendolyn Suzanne holmes. 418 00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:52,660 Uh, now, let me see here. 419 00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:56,600 According to the customs In the coalachocti ceremony 420 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,770 The guests should offer Their jooja filled With goat's milk 421 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,270 Or if they're not From royal lineage 422 00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:06,280 Their ox bladder Filled with river stones. 423 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,380 Oh, no, I feel like Such an idiot. 424 00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,950 I got them a waffle iron. 425 00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:15,950 Now, the bridal couple Should make public To the tribe 426 00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,950 Their feelings For each other. 427 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,230 I never feel more alive Than when I'm with you. 428 00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:26,230 I never knew I was alive Until I met you. 429 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000 [whistling] 430 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,000 And now the bridal couple Should take a few moments 431 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,440 To contemplate The joining Of their spirits 432 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,810 And the beginning Of their new life together. 433 00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,210 Oh, gosh! 434 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,210 Joe, that could be us. 435 00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:49,720 Are you sorry it's not? 436 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:52,720 I don't know. 437 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:54,720 Maybe. 438 00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:56,730 Are you? 439 00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:58,230 I don't know. 440 00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:00,230 Kind of. 441 00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,730 It's not too late, You know. 442 00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:06,230 What are you saying? 443 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,240 Will you marry me? 444 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,740 Joe! Well, I think We should-- 445 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,740 [stammering] No, no-- 446 00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:13,240 For once in our lives, Just don't think. Let's just do it. 447 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,740 Oh, joe, it is Kind of scary. 448 00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:16,750 I know, but that's what Makes it exciting. 449 00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,750 [laughing] Ok. What? What? 450 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,180 Yes. Yes. Yes? 451 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,180 Really? Yes. 452 00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,560 Uh, 453 00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,060 Reverend biggins, 454 00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,930 We want to get married too. 455 00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,260 Oh, look, if you don't wanna Put the masks on again, 456 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,260 Just say so. 457 00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:37,970 So what do you say roy? 458 00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:40,970 Well, that, uh, Waterbed could use Some satin sheets. 459 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,010 This is so romantic. 460 00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:48,010 Does the inside Of your mask smell? 461 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:54,650 And now, with the spirit Of the great wahdooba... 462 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:55,650 Oh, to hell with this. 463 00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:58,350 Helen, do you take joe To be your lawfully Wedded husband? 464 00:18:58,350 --> 00:18:59,350 I do. 465 00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:00,860 (roy) Joe, do you take helen 466 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,360 To be your Lawfully wedded wife? 467 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,060 I do. 468 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,060 Gwen, do you take brian To be your lawfully Wedded husband? 469 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,400 Gwen, are you-- Do you take-- 470 00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,170 Uh, hold it, Hold it, hold it. Uh. 471 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:17,170 I'm getting This weird feeling In my gut. 472 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,980 I'm getting A weird feeling In my gut. 473 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,480 So am I. 474 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,650 Did you have helen's Egg salad for lunch? 475 00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:26,150 Something's not right here. 476 00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:30,150 Look, if I followed My instincts To get into this 477 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,660 Then I've got To listen to 'em now. 478 00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:36,160 Brian, we pledged to live Our lives spontaneously. 479 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,160 What is the most Spontaneous thing 480 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,660 We could do at a wedding? 481 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,630 (both) Not get married! 482 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,400 Oh, I love this woman! 483 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,100 (joe) Wait, wait, brian, You can't do that. 484 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,100 No, don't-- don't-- You can't walk out On your wedding. 485 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:51,270 Those stupid schnooks, They just don't get it. 486 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,510 Race you to the ground. 487 00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,010 (joe) Don't-- no! 488 00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,480 (helen) Get back here! 489 00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:05,850 Anyway, by the power Vested in me 490 00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,120 By the commonwealth Of massachusetts-- H-h-hold it. 491 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,120 Hold it, hold it. 492 00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:13,130 Helen? Me, either. 493 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,130 Never mind. 494 00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:21,940 You know, my mask Is starting to smell. 495 00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,440 Not bad, huh? 496 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,590 Hmm, well, this has been A full day. 497 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,860 It has, hasn't it? 498 00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:46,360 Joe, was gwen right About our relationship? 499 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,360 Is our relationship 500 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,370 (both) Predictable? 501 00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:54,370 No way. Look at tonight. 502 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,870 We were gonna Order chinese food And at the last minute 503 00:20:58,510 --> 00:21:00,010 Pizza. [laughing] 504 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,010 Is that the act Of a predictable couple? 505 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,810 You're right. I'm sorry I doubted us. 506 00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:05,310 [sighing] Oh, boy! 507 00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,320 Hmm, just got Off the phone With gwen. 508 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,320 She is an incredible woman. 509 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,820 She's already on her way To katmandu To go bungee jumping. 510 00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,830 You ok, brian? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. 511 00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,830 Hey, we'll always Have paris, huh? 512 00:21:19,830 --> 00:21:21,330 Hey, where are you going? 513 00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:23,330 I'm gonna go down To the tin whistle. Leave you 2 guys alone-- 514 00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:24,930 Oh, no, you don't. Come on. 515 00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:28,040 Sit down. The last time You went out for a drink, We almost got married. 516 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,440 (brian) No, no, no, no. 517 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,210 Ok, come on, brian, You can't go now, look, 518 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,740 We're just about to start Samurai theater. 519 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,580 Oh, I'm not in the mood. I don't wanna... Here it is. Look. 520 00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,950 I have a sword. 521 00:21:36,950 --> 00:21:38,450 I have a sword 522 00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:40,950 And I'm going To stab you with it! 523 00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:44,450 Oh, yeah? 524 00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:45,950 Yeah. 525 00:21:45,950 --> 00:21:48,390 [laughing] Hey, we're good at this. 526 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,890 You're making A mockery of my art. 527 00:21:49,890 --> 00:21:51,890 [door closing] Now watch the master. 528 00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:57,070 Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream 529 00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,330 Other side! 530 00:21:58,330 --> 00:21:59,330 Row, row, Row your boat 531 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,640 You, with the ponytail, You're not singing. 532 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,610 (brian using multiple voices) This is the last time, I book a discount cruise. 533 00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:07,080 Ah, quit your complaining. We got the lido deck, 534 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,740 Are those steaks tender, yet? 535 00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:10,040 Almost. 536 00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:11,710 Hey, I got a joke for you. 537 00:22:11,710 --> 00:22:13,050 Oh, this ought to be funny. 538 00:22:13,050 --> 00:22:14,550 Went to my dentist The other day, 539 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,050 I said, "Doc, My teeth are yellow." 540 00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:17,550 He said, "So wear a brown tie." 541 00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:20,390 Well, he's no Henny youngman.